Facing the Trial of a Lifetime

Have you ever experienced a moment in life when time stood still? A moment when you desperately wanted to reverse time and reality was the last thing you wanted to accept? 

Mother’s Day 2018

In my life, that moment came on July 23, 2018. In the early morning hours, I sat in our local emergency room watching my baby girl, Izabelle, go from bad to worse. Twenty-four hours earlier she had come down with what seemed to be a normal stomach bug. I had dealt with kids vomiting off and on throughout my journey of motherhood. This felt no different, so I treated her as if it was a 24 hour flu. As time passed on, it became evident that she needed medical assistance. I geared up to take her into the emergency room. I expected to get some IV fluids in her and be home within the day. I even packed the last book of a series I hoped to begin reading, Royal Brides by Traci Abramson. 

My mind still struggles to comprehend the events that took place in the emergency room that early morning. What ensued had been totally off my radar, as evidenced by the book that remained untouched in my backpack. Come to find out, Izabelle’s little 10.5 month body had been fighting an overwhelming bacterial infection. {Medical Note: vomiting can be a sign of an overwhelming bacterial infection or even a sign of dehydration} Her body began to crash. Life flight was called as medical professionals worked to determine the root cause all while struggling to keep her alive.

In that moment, I closed my eyes willing time to stop. I begged God for a miracle with a fervor never experienced before (or since) in my life. I knew without a doubt, He could perform that miracle if it was in accordance with His will. Time continued moving forward. As Izabelle was given another priesthood blessing I felt a wave of peace settle over me. I knew, in that moment, that everything would be okay. Whether she were to be healed or even if it was her time to go, it would be okay. I even said this to the EMT who stood beside me while we watched medical professionals work on Izabelle. My choice in that moment was to trust in God’s timing and in His eternal plan. 

On the Roof of Primary
Children’s Hospital

Over the course of the next 24ish hours, I continued to plead for that miracle but always made sure to close each prayer stating and accepting, “Thy Will Be Done.” I knew in my heart that God could see the beginning from the end. He knew what was best. 

Through – Life flight. Vitals stabilizing. IV Antibiotics. Watching her body code. ECMO being put into place (Heart Lung by pass machine). Watching seasoned medical professionals at work. I simply sang to my baby girl. That is all I could think to do. All the while my husband, Tony, stood by my side. 

Early on July 24, 2018, after fervent prayer, we knew it was Izabelle’s time to move forward on her eternal journey. As we both had been there to welcome our sweet Izabelle Shelby into this life, we were there holding her while she passed through the veil. 

Some may ask, how can you move forward when your heart wants to remain frozen in 2018? The answer lies in the promise of life after death. The promise of a resurrection. The promise of eternal families. The promise of holding Izabelle in our arms once again, raising her in a more perfect world. All of these promises have given us the strength, hope, and peace to move forward each day. All of this is made possible because of our Savior Jesus Christ’s infinite and eternal Atonement. It is praises to His name I will forever sing. 

Without a doubt, heavenly strength was given to us to press forward through the greatest trial of our lifetime. That same heavenly strength and aid is extended to you. He is there. He desires to help you through each trial… no matter how big, small, or visible that trial might be. Pray. Trust. Have Faith. For He sees the beginning from the end. 

💕 Terynn

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